I get in those moods where one thing will get me down and then I spiral into all the things that I make worst than they probably really are. Know what I mean?! :) You (well I) have the thoughts like I'm not a good enough mom, wife, house keeper, too fat, don't have any friends and basically just not good enough ya know?
Then I get irritated when I think my family is being taken advantage of. I hate when things aren't planned. I hate when I feel like my kids are left out. I hate that I am so irritated at my dad's situation. I get so mad that I had to grow up so fast and I know that is why I have a low tolerance for a lot of people that I feel need to grow up before they try to act grown up. I hate that I get my feelings hurt when I see friends post comments on other peoples blogs who I feel that they may think are more of a "social status" and not mine. I hate that people assume that I am stronger than I am just because we don't broadcast our problems.
So, I know that this post may seem all over the place and I'm sorry, but really it's just for me I guess. I know that I have these issues sometimes, not all the time. And I know I can't change other people, only the way that I react to the situations.
I would like to say that I have been so completely moved by so many unexpected friends. For those of you who have told me that you are "proud of me." I want to say I big thank you to you!!Know that it means the world to me! I don't have that strong support from my side of the family so it means a lot to me when you say it. I go into this photography journey with no expectations at all, really. I do it because I love it, not to compete or to get rich. Simply because I love it and that's what friends do is support one another...so thanks for that.
So I think this year is going to be about what is best for our family. Try to be a little more care free also. Know that with all that is going on in the world that our problems are pretty small.
So if you made it this far thanks for reading my rant of the moment. :) I swear I'm not crazy...really!! :)
11 comments:
Believe it or not, it was my nail lady who told me you cannot change people, only how you react to them. It has been really hard for me to adopt. I'm a grudge holder so it is really hard for me to let go of things, but I know it takes way more energy to hold on. It would be much healthier for me to let go...so I'm trying.
What a smart nail lady.
And Michelle . . . we love you.
It's true...we all have to let go of what we can't change.
Brandon's aunt always says something that I love..."Assume the best and look for the good." This has been great advice for me especially when it comes to family relationships. We choose our friends...but we're stuck with family...and if we are lucky we'll be stuck with them forever! I have tried to apply this to different situations (like the one with my sister getting pregnant...) and I have found that by overlooking what I think are faults in others...I am SO much happier...and guess what? My sister and I have such a good relationship now. We talk almost everyday...and I actually WANT to talk to her!
Like you...my moods go up and down like a roller-coaster and I sometimes just need to get it all off my chest...and I want to feel like someone is listening and knows where I am coming from because I honestly think I am going crazy at time!
SO! Just so you know! You're doing great! Just "keep on keeping on!". Your dad is lucky to have you to take care of him and I know that you'll be able to feel like you are lucky to be able to take care of him too...because it sounds like you want to feel that way...you're just stressed out.
ANYHOW...I am going to shut up now...and maybe go look for a new filter...you know which one I am talking about? The filter that goes between my brain and my mouth...well in this case my fingers. I could delete all this...but...oh well!
You know I love ya!
Michelle I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I think we all have been through different ups and downs in our life. You for one have been through so much already. I am so glad to call you my friend. I just wish that we could get together more often. I hope you know taht I care for you and if you ever need anything I drop whatever it is to be their for you. If you are ever having a bad day feel free to call or just stop by. We girls need our girl time too. Hang in there, I love you.
Hey Girl! I need to chat with you. Can you contact me on MS and I need your number, talk to eachother on the phone. Geez, it has been years for that huh? Hang in there babe, life is not perfect and it is what it is. All of us love ya on here and keep on truckin!
Brandi
xoxoxoxxoxo
You have some very smart friends.
Here's my two cents. It's amazing how the way that I view you is always totally different from the way that you view yourself. I think you should adopt the way that I view you. By the way, if our kids are supposed to get married some day, don't you think they should play together more? Hint hint!
(((Big Hugs, my friend))) Love ya more than words could ever say!!!
Michelle~
We've talked about this before, we all go through times that we feel like this. Just remember that it does get better.
And for what it's worth I totally understand all your feelingsand frustrations 'cuz I have the same ones.
I've kind of adopted the attitude thatI'm tired of waiting for everyone else. So, I'm going to get out there and make things happen. I'm going to be the one inviting everyone to do something fun--then it hopefully won't be as big of deal to me when we don't get invited to things. We'll see how it goes in reality, in theory it sounds pretty good!
Just remember I'm here for you if you ever need to talk or scream! Of all my sisters you're the one I feel I know the best. And I think you're wonderful and I'm always right! ;)
We need to get together and have a girls night out, let the guys watch the kids. We can eat choclate, shop, eat chcolate, play, eat chcolate, whatever as long as there's chcolate! Erik might enjoy it if I had someone to vent to besides him all the time!
Hang in there, and remember I've got your back. Just tell me what you need me to do, who needs beat up, what needs cleaned, when you need kids watched, whatever! I'm there for you!
ditto, ditto and ditto. Some days I have those same feelings that you've explained too. I think we all do, and in my opinion, anyone who doesn't have those feelings just might not be human :) I wish we still live in San B so we could get together and chat!!
I understand my friend! Hang in there!! I'm thinking about you!
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